Beauty in the Beast - The Angelus - September 2016 - StMaryOfTheAngels

As Wally the warthog poured himself his first cup of coffee, he grabbed the morning paper and skimmed the headlines, as he did every morning. But as he started to read, his eyes opened wide, so wide that his eyebrows went up into his scalp. This can’t be true! he thought. No way!

He re-read the headline, so as to make sure he was reading it correctly:

“Zoologist Declares the Warthog to be the Ugliest Animal in Africa!”

“Everyone, come here, quick!” he yelled to the other warthogs. His friends all came running over.

“Wally, what’s the matter?” asked Ralph, his best warthog friend.

They all crowded around Wally, stretching their short, fat necks over each other, trying to find out what all the yelling was about.

“Quiet, quiet, everyone, please be quiet,” said Wally. He stood up and held the newspaper up for everyone to see.

“This is unbelievable,” said Ralph. “Not the warthogs!”

“It’s obviously a mistake,” said Wilhemina, Ralph’s cousin. “They must have us mixed up with someone else.”

“No, it’s no mistake,” said Wally. “Newspapers don’t lie.” “Yes, it’s true,” said Phineas, the oldest warthog of the clan, with his head seeming to be weighed down by an albatross. “It’s right there in black-and-white, with a photo to boot.” This was news that Phineas had always suspected, but didn’t want to face.

“Well,” said Wilhemina, “what do we do now?”

“First things first,” said Wally. He trudged over to the mud pit, as he did every morning. Have to start out the day with a bath, Wally always said. A clean warthog is a happy warthog!

He dove into the mud. But what a dive it was! Like a ballerina doing a swan dive into a lake. Wally actually thought he should have been born a swan. After all, his dives were so graceful and elegant.

After sloshing around for about a half hour, Wally got out of the mud pit, shook himself as dry as he could, and went back to his home in the shade.

Finishing his daily morning routine, he plopped himself down on his easy chair. What to do, he thought, what to do. He remembered how his mother had always told him what a beautiful baby he was! And now this!

In the distance, he could hear the roar of the Safari Tour Bus. It always came through about this time of late morning. The bus would always stop and let the tourists take photos of the warthogs.

Wally loved these photo-ops for the tour groups. After primping himself all morning, he would pose and preen for the out-of-towners.

But this time the bus didn’t stop. It drove right past the warthog haven.

Wally jumped up and started running after the bus. “Wait, wait, don’t you want some pictures?” he yelled.

But the bus kept going, and Wally was left in the midst of the dirt and dust stirred up by the tail end of the bus as it faded into the distance.

Ralph came running over. “Well,” he said, “they obviously read the morning paper.”

“Yeah,” said Wally. “They don’t want pictures of ugly animals.” Or so-called ugly animals, he thought.

“That zoologist really messed things up for us,” said Ralph.

“He sure did,” said Wally, his head lowering like a sinking ship.

The more he thought about it, the more determined he became. He called Wilhemina over.

“Wilhemina,” said Wally, “do you think I’m cute and handsome?”

“Oh, Wally,” she said, “you‘re as cute as a hog in his mother‘s arms.” Wilhemina wished she could blush now.

“And handsome?” said Wally.

“Handsome as handsome is,” said Wilhemina. “Henry the Hippo has nothing on you!”

“I needed to hear that,” said Wally. “You always make me feel better. You sure have a way with words!”

Later in the afternoon, Phineas the Elder stopped by to see Wally.

“You know, Wally, I’ve been thinking,” he said. “My papa always used to tell me that beauty came from within. Looks are fleeting, and don’t last. Beauty is in your heart.”

Wally knew that Phineas was a wise old soul, and had years of life experience to back up his claims.

“Thank you, Phineas!” said Wally. “You really know how to help my self-esteem!”

By late afternoon, Wally and Wilhemina were sitting together watching the fading sunset, as they always did. As they were getting comfortable, a family van pulled up alongside the edge of the warthog’s home. The mom and dad got out, along with their two children.

“Oh mommy,” said the young girl, “look at the pretty animals!”

“Yeah, let’s get a picture, can we daddy?” said the boy. Their dad was a photojournalist, on assignment in Africa.

Wally and Wilhemna had their backs to the family, as they were watching the sunset. But when they heard the family talking and what they said, they both turned their heads around at the same time.

At that precise moment, dad snapped the camera’s shutter.

The next morning Wally and Wilhemina’s photo graced the front page of the newspaper. The photographer captured them cheek-to-cheek, as if they were posing for a magazine cover. Wally and Wilhemina said it was one of the best photos the paper had ever published.

The photo was captioned: “Hidden Beauty!”